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This video has some very interesting opening credits. Many of the "cheerleaders" are wearing sweaters, and then suddenly there's this S&M couple? Hmm, I guess we'll get there eventually...
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Studio: Penthouse » Review by
Crazy Slutty »
Review Date: 1/19/10
Special features: Choose by scene. A photo gallery of the girls that rotates through the images without you being able to choose anything. A bonus scene from Freshman first-timers (I review that scene at the end), a feature named "Internet" that tells you how to view the DVD on your computer. "Coming soon" is a bunch of ads for upcoming movies, as you might expect.
First we have yellow sweatered Kylee Reese (or possibly Reece; the DVD has it spelled both ways) and poor form weightlifting jock, going at it to the Bladerunner score in the locker room... which also has weightlifting equipment.
This first scene starts off really slowly but finally we get to some cocksucking. Her skills are mediocre and I can't really tell if she's bad or not because she's not even trying to deep throat AT ALL. Maybe it's supposed to add to the whole innocence thing? In my experience most high school girls DO suck at blowjobs! It's realistic!
Kylee then makes it clear that she's watched a lot of porn as she bangs his cock against her lips. Because THAT does something.
We are then unfortunately treated to jock boy eating out Kylee, but if you know anything about me, then you know how I feel about guy faces in porn. Even worse, Kylee looks like a blow up doll while she gets licked. Her mouth is, like, a perfect circle.
She does have pierced nipples, a pierced clit, pierced bellybutton, a French manicure and an oddly placed boring flower tattoo, so if you like those things, you might like her. *shrug* Both of them are very nicely shaved, so they get points for that.
Sadly, the cheerleader outfit comes off entirely. I'm of the opinion that the skirt should stay on, or it stops being cheerleader porn, and the skirt comes off pretty quickly and then it's just regular porn in a locker room. And she keeps making the blow up doll face. I'm bored. Next please!
The cumshot is pretty good, but most of it ends up near her thigh and on her tattoo.
Allyssa starts off with a really bad cheer, directed at a guy playing pool. And she's wearing a sweater too! It's like whoever shot this thought all cheerleaders are from the 1950s.
Her acting is some of the most horrible acting I've ever seen. She then starts another cheer about rounding bases and coming home to score. Which would be a hilarious double entendre... if cheerleaders were at baseball games.
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Finally they shut up and start making out with each other. And 59 seconds later, the entire cheerleader outfit is, once again, completely off. Sigh. Now she's just a moderately attractive girl in pink underwear.... And even the underwear is gone within the next minute. Boo!
Her co-star does have a very nice cock. Allyssa is not the best at going down on him, but he is pretty enormous. I was willing to cut her a little bit of slack, but she stopped even trying to get down there pretty quickly, and it turned into a hand job with her bobbing up and down on the head. She is NOT fooling this slut, I'll tell you what.
So they fuck for a while, she goes pussy to mouth, and then they fuck some more. He spanks her a couple times but she really just ignores it.
In this scene, the cumshot was either caught late by the camera, or it was faked. You see her going down to her knees with her mouth open, and then it cuts to a side view as he cums in her mouth. Except there's cum on her face BEFORE he cums. So... hmm. If you're going to fake it, you've gotta do better than THAT. This is the only cumshot that goes near a face, and most of it does end up in her mouth so that's good.
At the very end of the scene, he fucks her mouth for a few seconds, and that is actually the hottest part of the scene.
Shawna Lenee, the penthouse girl
OK, so we have a dumb jock character with Penthouse pet Shawna Lenee... IN ANOTHER RED SWEATER. Really? Let's see how fast her cheerleader outfit comes off...
The music in this scene is almost certainly from the German Disco Light Show segment from Conan O'Brien, and nothing turns me on faster than skinny Irishmen. I kid, I kid. (P.S., I love you CoCo)
So jock boy licks and finger fucks Shawna, and, .. lo and behold, they leave the skirt on! THANK YOU! Then he fucks her from behind while pulling her hair. Nice! This is easily my favorite part of the movie. There are also some nice close ups, and the angles make it look like they think going from pussy to mouth is a big deal. Hey, I like it, but it shouldn't get the
same attention as ass to mouth, know what I'm sayin'?
There are several switched positions and she also has a French manicure and a pierced bellybutton. He also has a really nice cum shot all over her belly, and she picks up some of the cum and eats it. Nice touch, even though she doesn't get much of it. Shawna does have some pretty fucking spectacular tits, though.
At the very end of this scene, there is a group of other jocks and a nerd, and the nerd asks if he can be next. That was pretty weird.
Melissa Jacobs and Alyssa Reece (or Reese)
OK, so Melissa and Alyssa are bouncing on a bed while cheering, and then they are suddenly making out, which is fine by me. Again, the music is really weird, going from pan flute to space music. So they play with each others' breasts and then take turns eating each other out, but they don't really seem like they know what they're doing.
Alyssa gets fucked with a small dildo... kind of. It's not really doing much. Then Melissa gets fucked with a pink rabbit ears vibe. Again, Alyssa sucks on it after fucking Melissa like this is an amazing thing.
And that's the end of the scene. It's pretty lightweight.
I didn't know what to make of this scene. She's wearing a whole lotta vinyl and complains about cheerleaders. Then she does a cheer. Then she starts domme-ing it up with a sub guy? I guess?
And she starts sucking his cock. Wait, no, nevermind, she sucks the very tip of it. Occasionally. So this is more of a vinyl handjob.
So he eats her out and fingers her... and she goes pussy to mouth, and then they change positions. Most of the scenes throughout this DVD are pretty much exactly the same, just with different people and clothing. She leaves her black garter belt and fishnets on, which are nice but not exactly cheerleader-like. Again, though, they're both nicely shaved.
She then once again proves how terrible she is at blowjobs, and they switch positions again. Cumshot is on the butt and it's not that bad. At least this one wasn't faked. Hilariously, the sub guy turns to the camera at the end and says, "Take it from me... get yourself a naughty cheerleader."
BONUS SCENE REVIEW: Ruby Knox scene from Freshman First Timers:
So Ruby is in a bus with horrible green screen effects for
the great outdoors. I love that there is no effort made to hide anything from
the bus driver, and the music is just as bad as the feature presentation. To my
surprise, this "first timer" deep throats better than any of the other girls in
the actual movie, but the guy has some kind of big red sore-looking things on
Cumshot is all right, but it's all over her belly - just like all of
the other scenes on the feature. Even better, she quickly gets dressed and
through the magic of bad editing, the cum has magically disappeared when she
WRAP UP: The good - Shawna's tits, Shawna leaving the skirt on, tame intro for timid porn newbies The bad - cheerleader outfits aren't sexy, skirts (mostly) don't stay on, girls aren't enthusiastic or talented, every scene has the same positions and angles
FINAL GRADE: C.
This is a very vanilla, very simple, very clean porn. It's the kind of inoffensive movie you might want to show to your curious girlfriend, hilariously bad dialogue and all.