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Jenna Loves Diamonds

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Studio: Club Jenna » Review by Don Houston » Review Date: 3/26/08

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Jenna Jameson and Kendall Karlson (click for trailer)

Jenna Loves Diamonds

Club Jenna

Ashley Moore and Dale DaBone

Genre: Feature

Director: Michael Zen

Cherry Rain

Cast: Jenna Jameson, Kendall Karlson, Ashley Moore, Dale DaBone, Cherry Rain, Dillion Day, Aurora Snow, Randy Spears, Dru Berrymore, Justin Sterling

Length: 96:42 minutes

Aurora Snow and Randy Spears

Date of Production: 12/5/2002

Dru Berrymore and Jenna Jameson

Extras: The best extra was a 30:43 minute long set of uncredited bonus scenes from the company vaults; nothing new or unreleased but still some nice material to enjoy if you haven't seen it already. There was also a couple of photogalleries (one of them a BTS version), some trailers, and spam. Sadly, despite the back cover listing a Behind the Scenes feature, none was on the DVD, the spin probably being the second photogallery counted as such. The case itself was kind of interesting though, a fold open book version that was already getting dog ears upon being open but attractive all the same.

Justin Sterling and Jenna Jameson (in happier days)

Condoms: Yes

Audio/Video Quality: Jenna Loves Diamonds was presented in a letterboxed widescreen (non-anamorphic) with a ratio of about 1.78:1 as presented by director Michael Zen for Club Jenna using the usual standard definition MPEG-2 codec. From the BTS photogallery, it appears the movie was shot in full frame and then trimmed down, not the best route for handling modern day releases in my opinion. The colors were overly saturated much of the time and the lighting seemed hit or miss during the feature portions of the show; the sex scenes presented in a highly stylized music video manner that looked choppy at best. There was a lot of grain and video noise but the compression artifacts were not as frequent as they could have been, the bitrate hovering in the lower 5 Mbps range when I paid any attention to it. The audio was offered up with a wider than usual selection though, a simulated 5.1 Dolby Digital Surround in English in 384 Kbps, a standard 2.0 Dolby Digital English in 192 Kbps, and options to make the sex noises (the moaning) or the music louder. There was little difference in the two primary tracks from what I heard, the separation between the channels limited to the music for the most part and no additional enhancements in the dynamic range. Still, whatever minor tweaks were offered were more than what is usually included so some credit is due even if the limited vocals during sex and hollow vocals during the feature portions were annoying.

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Body of Review: Jenna Jameson had long been the queen of porn to many; her combination of perkiness, beauty, and outgoing nature enhancing her media presence. Long before she was stumbling in front of audiences making goofball speeches as she did in January, she was what most folks affectionately call a "porn star", a designation the lady earned more than most of her peers. When she and her husband started Club Jenna, their goal was to get away from performing and move into the production side of things so they stockpiled a number of scenes that are still being used to this day, years later. Along with random scenes though, there are reportedly a number of movies as well, including the newly released Jenna Loves Diamonds, a feature about Jenna as a cat burglar by night, investigator by day that gave the appearance it was half finished. Yeah, the dialogue was stilted and the acting wooden but this was Jenna back when she had curves and sex appeal; the Jenna so many people adored. The back cover said it like this: "Insurance Investigator Laura Pendleton is caught up in a twisted caper that sees her through hypnotism - transformed into the very woman she is tracking, a sexy cat burglar who steals the most fabulous diamonds in the world! Through hypnosis, she discovers that she is a sexual adventuress and criminal at heart!" Here's a brief look at the scenes by cast and action, noting that condoms were used for those still interested:

Scene One: Jenna Jameson, the curvy version circa 2002 as plastered all over the cover, was up first as she was hypnotized into a lesbian scene with Kendall Karlson (there were no individual credits so I think this was her). The combination of imagery and fast paces edits made this one a bit weird, the yellow tone of the effects used so much that I wondered what they were thinking in post production. The effect toned down after awhile but not enough and the kissing, fingering, eating out, and face sitting were shown in such a way that that any chemistry they might have had was lost. It didn't help that they kept looking at the camera for approval either, putting on a show rather than enjoying themselves.

Scene Two: Ashley Moore, a lean blond with a plain face, was up next as a newly wed wearing red panties as she inhaled the cock of Dale DaBone on the couch at night. I give her credit for showing some enthusiasm and energy even if it was a mechanical ride; the music too loud by half even in the adjusted mode. The blowjob led to some vaginal boning, Dale's cock not fully erect as he drilled her. If the guy fucking the lady isn't hard, she couldn't have been that good so this also weakened the fantasy. The resulting load of population pudding graced her face in the end with some post coital sucking closing matters out.

Scene Three: Cherry Rain, playing the exuberant secretary, was up next in a dungeon with Dillion Day at night. The shadows kept the action from being too explicit in some ways, her freshness factor enhancing the moment more than a little compared to those that were strictly going through the motions. Dillon's manner of making her laugh before going down on her was a nice change of pace too, her reciprocal blowjob followed up by a very active vaginal ride. If anyone in the movie looked like they were into the sex, these two earned the distinction, the condom not interfering with their pleasure from the looks of it. Her moaning was a bit over the top but otherwise, they were a shot of adrenaline by comparison to the others. The scene ended with him rubbing out a moderate load to her face, the way she looked into his eyes saying a lot more as far as I was concerned. Nice!

Scene Four: Aurora Snow, years ago before she earned her reputation as a gonzo gal into everything, was up in the dark living room with studly veteran Randy Spears. The music had an upbeat tempo and while the camera was too jumpy, her sexual skills made up for it in large part as she worked his rod with a great deal of expertise. The two handed assist during the hummer was a nice touch, as was the eye contact, her vaginal penetration showing her to be very active indeed; perhaps too professional at her craft to score top spot in the movie but a well done bit of boning all the same. In the end, it was too short of a ride, the semen flying on her face as she licked the head of his rod.

Scene Five: Jenna Jameson, looking just as good this time, was up next in the darkened room at night, her long time friend Dru Berrymore her partner. Whatever else can be said about these two, they seem to have spent a lot of time with each other off camera having sex as well as onscreen so the resulting fun, while still too stylishly shot, was a step or two above Jenna's first scene in the movie. The music was lame and they again broke it up by looking at the camera too much, but as they went down on each other, they did manage to give a favorable impression worth a load or two. The use of the strap on dildo was pretty decent too as both of them had a chance to ride and wield it.

Scene Six: Jenna Jameson, dressed up this time, was up last in the night time bedroom of Justin Sterling; the man left off the cover credits of the movie for some reason. The editing as they slowly went at one another struck me as particularly haphazard, bouncing around like crazy instead of going through the natural sequence of events, some angles even making it look there was another guy (and Jay was a stunt double). Whatever the case, all the bouncing around made it tough to keep track of events and the any chemistry they might have had was lost as a result. The scene finished up with a small facial before fading to the partial credits (that listed Spud as the BTS guy).

Summary: Jenna Loves Diamonds by director Michael Zen for Club Jenna was a far cry from his best work in terms of telling a story but the sex was quite in line with the stylish music video look most of the company's early efforts sported. I have long been a fan of Jenna and almost an apologist for her public behavior even recently so I really wanted this one to have a lot of replay value as some of her other movies still have for me but in fairness to her better works of the past, this one only merited a rating of Rent It. The corner cutting permeating the production was evident in a great many ways and as good as Jenna looked, her scenes were mediocre to what I expected. If there had been a BTS to help figure out what happened, I might have been able to be more generous but that wasn't the case; regardless of what the packaging led me to believe. In short, Jenna Loves Diamonds did not sparkle like it could have, reminding me that whatever scenes of hers are left to release, hopefully they aren't quite as old as these were (2002?!?) or if so, used in better fashion.

For more movies with the lovely blonde bombshell Jenna Jameson in them, check out the following releases on DVD:
I Dream of Jenna 2
Janine Loves Jenna,
Jenna's Provocateur,
Jenna Loves Justin,
Sophia Syndrome,
Where The Boys Aren't 17,
Jenna Does Carmen,
Jenna's Depraved,
Hell On Heels,
Jenna Jameson's Wicked Anthology 3,
The Masseuse
Bella Loves Jenna,
5 Star Jenna Jameson,
Jenna Loves Pain,
Silver Screen Confidential,
My Plaything Jenna Jameson 1,
Jenna Jameson's Wicked Anthology 1,
My Plaything Jenna Jameson 2,
Jenna Loves Kobe,
Where The Boys Aren't 16,
Jenna's Lip Service,
Jenna's Star Power,
Jenna Jameson Uncut and Uncensored
Jenna Loves Justin Again

You can email me with questions at Houstondon hotmail.com if you have any constructive criticism of the review too. :) Also you can follow me on twitter

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