Sir Mix A Lot said it first and best – he liked big butts, and he could not lie. Indeed, the Dirge has been known to enjoy an ample ass now and again…if purely from an esoteric, non-erotic 'position' (wink). Anyway, a true tushy lovers dream come true, Whole Lotta Azz
finds five sexy backdoor bitches and lets three horny as Hell dudes drill the junk out of those trunks. Without consideration for overall weight, size or sophistication, director Lee G. gets his well-endowed dumper dames to pump and percolate for the camera, their incredibly sweet cheeks undulating in hypnotic horniness. The effect is mesmerizing, and highly erotic. Indeed, Whole Lotta Azz
may be the first butt worship title that syncs up flawlessly with those who love the fabled funky onion. Like the Big Wet Asses
series, this is one title that treats the hinder with the randy respect it deserves.
The Sex Scenes:
Ouch! Boy howdy, was the Dirge burnt by the red hot balling delivered here. Each lady is a big round mound of sizzling sexuality, their excess of curves (and body fat, and piercings and tattoos, etc.) making the sequences smutty and steamy. Lucky L.T. gets to tap threes of the asses here, while Rico gets one of the most fiery femmes in the whole package. As a black on black title focusing almost exclusively on fucking, other elements like cabaret, foreplay, oral, toys, and fetishism are downplayed. It has nothing to do with race – indeed, all we really care about is the hinder humping. And with plenty of pooper to ponder, and palpitate over, you'll find no shortage of slutty sit upon during the carnal course.
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Scene 1: Alana Moore, L.T.
Acts Performed: Salad Tossing, Blowjob, Deep Throating, Ball Sucking, Doggy, V to M, Anal Pile Driver, Anal Doggy, Cowgirl, Anal Cowgirl, Mish, Anal Mish, Scissors, $hot to Mouth
Score: 4 out of 5
This is what porn is all about – two performers fucking and sucking like there's no tomorrow…or better yet, like there's no camera in the room. Director G starts off with some phony baloney ploy about recording the sex between Alana and L.T. 'on the sly'. Seems they are screwing in a luxury tour bus, and Lee uses a peephole to spy on the action. Before long, the angles turn more professional and we are soon swept up in some of the best balling this side of a Denis Marti film. Alana definitely has more of everything – her ass is simply astounding in its size, shape and jiggle factor. You sit dumbfounded as our meat puppet pounds away with wickedly wild abandon. Had it lasted just a little bit longer, this would have been one of the best scenes of the year. As it stands, this is some great gratuitous stuff.
Scene 2: Pritsy, Rico Strong
Acts Performed: Blowjob, Doggy, Mish, Cowgirl, $hot in Ass Crack
Score: 3.5 out of 5
A few more positions and this scene would be practically perfect. Pritsy and Rico look amazing together, like a couple hoping to copulate in a full blown passionate playtime. We are the lucky ones who get to sit in on the shafting. Still, the lack of actual anal is regrettable, and Mr. Strong puts on quite a narcissistic show before delivering the dick. He's all posturing and posing. But because of Pritsy's luscious rump, bouncy and bubbly and ready to ream, we forgive all the hackneyed histrionics.
Scene 3: Baby Cakes, L.T.
Acts Performed: Ass Kissing, Ass Oiling, Blowjob, Doggy, Salad Tossing, Side Saddle, Mish, Pile Driver, Cowgirl, $hot on Ass
Score: 3.5 out of 5
With the names of her children (or lovers, or conquests, who knows) tattooed across her stomach and back, and a set of stockings that simply scream ghetto fabulousness, Baby Cakes is all the woman that our man L.T. can handle. This pair is perfectly matched – pud for pooper – and once they get to rockin', nobody better come a knockin'. The attention L.T. pays to Baby's booty, especially when he happens across a bottle of baby oil, is worth the price of the DVD alone. This man in an ass connoisseur, and he savors every mouth-watering mound of this ripe rear end. With lots of hot fucking, and a nice pop at the end, this is a good (not quite great) sequence of sex. Better camerawork would have increased its score.
Scene 4: Red Sirling, Haz
Acts Performed: Ass Oiling, Blowjob, Cowgirl, Mish, Scissors, Side Saddle, Doggy, $hot on Ass
Score: 3.5 out of 5
Though Red Sirling seems a little lost during her scene (there is a disconnected look in her eyes that is hard to get a handle on) Haz puts her through the motions magnificently. Another session of ass oiling is always welcome, and the actual drilling is aggressive and erotic. In fact, the reason Whole Lotta Azz seems to work better than most mainstream porn titles is director Lee G's desire to match his actresses with actors who appreciate their attributes. These gals are not some skanky svelte fake titted bimbos. They are real voluptuous women who require actual MEN to service their naughty needs. In the case of this release, all the talent comes up tops.
Scene 5: Secret, L. T.
Acts Performed: Salad Tossing, Blowjob, Face Fucking, Tit Fucking, Cowgirl, Doggy, V to M, Mish, Spoon, $hot on Stomach and Tits
Score: 3 out of 5
Our final scene is sort of a letdown, since Ms. Secret looks a little worked over. No, not in the nookie department. More like in the bad boob job arena. Her horribly plastic chest seems antithetical to what Whole Lotta Azz stands for, and even with someone like L.T. leading her through the hardcore, the XXX elements are muted. Even worse, Secret's butt is below average – especially when compared to the copious glutteous of her co-stars. She can't hold a horny candle to Red, Pritsy, Alana, or Baby. She may get some men drunk with that less than filled out dumper, but there are better examples of booty in this set.
Disco Dirge Peter Meter Rating: 3.5 out of 5 ( Highly Recommended
Cohabitation Certification: Granted
If you base your rating of pornography solely on the amount of gird your groin generates, then Whole Lotta Azz is a real winner. It easily earns the Highly Recommended score, and would vie for the Collector's Series ranking had the bonus material and final scene been better. Still, Black Ice and Lee G. are a company and a filmmaker to watch. If they keep delivering the kind of soft, sensuous, mind-bending mamas that this DVD displays, if they keep their mind of the red eyed prize, if they continue to champion women of full and rounded figure, then they will have a long and prosperous time as first class flesh peddlers. So all your dumper devotees rejoice. Finally, ladies of color are getting the derriere recognition they so richly require. If Whole Lotta Azz doesn't get your motor running, you're probably dead. This is some seriously hot stuff.