Intelligent Talk About Adult DVDs
Ghetto Fabulous, Girls Night Out and Tera Patrick
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Blue Room Clip of The Week: Ghetto Fabulous
For this week's Blue Room Clip of The Week we have a couple of music videos with music and girls from Ninn Worx's . First up is featuring Eva Angelina (who we've had a crush on since The 2005 AVN Show). Needless to say, Eva looks 'fabulous' in . Also we have with Mika Tan. ... Boyeeee. Eva (oh sweet Eva) can also be seen in Evil Angel's . If the whole hip-hop-porn is your thing you'll also want to check out the clip from [Review | ]
Reviews 101: Pt 5: The Ratings
One of the trickier subjects to write about yet gets a lot of questions, relates to how the movies are rated. Providing individual allowances for personal tastes, each of our reviewers strives to be internally consistent in how they approach their ratings. For examples, why did Rocco's Big Mess get rated as a Skip It, while Rocco Ravishes Ibiza get a Highly Recommended? People that read the body of the review instead of the number of stars a title had usually have a great advantage in knowing why something like this happens but the short version is that a combination of factors took place. Rocco Siffredi is arguably one of the world's best known and most beloved male porn studs, often providing great performances and shooting very hot scenes when behind the camera so we know that his presence probably elevated both flicks a little. In the case of Rocco Ravishes Ibiza, the technical values were solid, the cast was above average in terms of sexual skill & enjoyment of their scenes, and the extras included a great 60 minute Behind the Scenes feature that captured the mood of the fun everyone had. Contrast that to the appropriately titled Rocco's Big Mess where the technical values suffered from lighting & compositional flaws, the cast was designed more for shock value (including a dwarf, transsexual, and number of grannies as main characters), and the ever-elusive fun factor was minimal. In short, most of the emails we get regarding particular ratings the movies get reflect strongly that the complainer did not read the entire review (which is their choice but the body of the review virtually always tells you why something received what it
In general terms, our team rates things as Skip It when the content is not worth buying, watching, or watching for most of the audience out there. They aren't asking themselves if Bluelight
would appeal to a feminist that hates all porn, just the folks that enjoy seeing consenting adults having fun onscreen. If the combination of factors is found greatly wanting in all (or most) areas, the title will be dismissed as unworthy of your hard earned money, just like with our mainstream reviews. Keep in mind that this rating is geared to the GENERAL audience, not every slavering fanboy of a performer in the movie or niche audience. If you've read a review by someone who absolutely hates a movie yet assigns it a high rating, you'll understand the folly of trying to project a value on the basis of a limited audience (and it makes no sense in most cases). Contrast that rating with Highly Recommended, a reflection on a title that really impressed us as a keeper in most ways. Such titles typically combine lots of fuck for the buck, great extras, and a cast that really seems to like what they are doing (and looks great doing it) so we give this rating to titles we think many of you would like to buy thanks in large part to replay value too. If you've ever watched Great Big Asses (as an example), you'll know that the cast was on fire during their scenes, the director caught it all very nicely, and the extras were extremely value enhancing to the point where the DVD stood out from the great many anal themed shows of the month. The rating of Rent It is generally applied to a title with some merit but low replay value and the rating of Recommended is used for the number of titles that will appeal to a larger audience but is hampered by factors that prevent it from the next step up. In general, most titles we look at get rated with either of these
As far as the highest honor our team can bestow, the coveted X Critic Collector Series rating, we shy away from handing that out too often because it represents that rare breed of title that we wholeheartedly recommended without hesitation as it is a great DVD as well as movie.
The first title to earn that honor was also the one to convince the management at the website to start offering porn titles; Forbidden
Tales. It still stands up to scrutiny to this day as one of the best representations of porn for couples made. Otherwise, out of about 4700 porn reviews, our crew has handed out a few dozen such ratings. If that doesn't speak volumes about the scarcity of quality porn, nothing else does. Most of the others offer something to set them above the pack, like the budgets (and corresponding quality) of The Private Gladiator Trilogy and Pirates, to the extreme levels of fuck for the buck content of Perfect Specimens 2 and Mind Fuck, to the extras offered up on spoofs like Camp Cuddly Pines and Hercules, to the sheer creativity displayed on Misty Beethoven:
The Musical and Neu Wave Hookers. Keep in mind that our goal is to tell you why we rated something as we did within the review but if you still have questions, feel free to email our reviewers and ask them about it.
Highlights of The Week
One of the great songs of the last century was the Sir Mix-a-lot classic, I Like Big Butts. These days, the general public seems to have come over to understanding what the master of ceremonies was talking about with heavenly titles like Big Booty White Girls 3, Angels of Debauchery 5, Direct Deposit 2, Ass Wide Open 7, and Anal Expedition 9, offering up a wide selection (pun intended) of hot ass to look at and stroke to with some of the legendary greats as well as the new kids on the block, teasing, pleasing, and seizing the moment to shake their rumps in just the right way. Katja Kassin was the queen in my mind but Sandra Romain, Julia Bond, and the incredibly stacked ass of Naomi were all proudly displayed in one or more titles this time in some of these heated titles. Read the reviews to see what flavor each took on but the
ass was worth cash in every case.
While fine ass works for most of us, others prefer seeing the youngest selection of gals legally available to scope out in their porn, which is why we spotlight Teen Tryouts Audition 45 and Breakin In the New Chicks 2, next. Rob pointed out that "The girls were all young and attractive and their sex scenes were enjoyable. There were a couple I really enjoyed and I think those are what make this DVD stand out amongst the rest. Anyways, if you are looking for a clean and straight forward release with young babes, then you will enjoy this installment" of the Devils Film release of TTA #45 with Namrufmot telling how BITNC
#2 was "a decent DVD that many people will enjoy. The strength lies in the quality of the girls. Not only are the typically hot, but they all show plenty of energy and enthusiasm (something many girls lack). While it doesn't stand head and shoulders above the competition, I think it
would definitely be worth checking out."
Say what you will about the fairer sex but that's why most of us watch porn; to see hot babes act slutty and do lots of things on screen that we wish they were doing with us at home. That's why we enjoyed watching the Shane's World reality series Girls Night Out 1 and Girls Night Out 2 as Penny Flame and her pals went out on the town to suck, bone, or at least jerk off everyone they came in contact with. Each volume was well worth the price of admission and I can see why Penny was so enthusiastic about her role in both of them (even graduating to director by the second volume). If you like local gals looking for one night stand pals, you won't go wrong with either of them. Contrasting the reality television show style of those two offerings are a couple of other winners that use foreign hotties to help you coax out a load or three; Dude, Your Girlfriend is in a Porno, where Dillon Day finds some of the better gals in the jizz biz to play with and Gazzman's latest epic offering of pussy with Young Harlots in London. All we can say is that depending on your preferences of setting, style, and quality of gal, you're bound to find a worthy date in this quartet of poon tang.
So you say that you're not into the freshness of teenagers, have decided to pass on the ass, and want something down to Earth with a little more soul to enjoy Well, if that's the case, either My Hot Wife Is Fucking Blackzilla 2 or Bang That Black Bitch White Boy should come in handy for you. Blackzilla is the code word for the infamous Shane Diesel, a man whose resemblance to a popular action star in mainstream movies (although with a mighty huge cock) is astounding and BTBBWB offers up a bit of role reversal where some talented white guys get in on some jungle fever too. The review team at X Critic likes performers of all colors but if you want in on some of the magic of interracial action offered up in modern porn, each of these caters well to their target
The other side of the coin we offer up this week is a selection of titles that won't make your girlfriend smack the living crap out of you with more female friendly offerings than you can shake your dick at.
Our continued love affair with the legendary Jesse Jane continues with Jesse Jane: All-American Girl, using Robby Dallas's camera magic to show the young cutie looking sweet and not-so-innocent. With so little material starring the contract star, we still want to see something less stylish but it works for the ladies and that tends to work for us men in the long run. We also had the latest selections form our growing legion of Playgirl Posse reviewers with Mistress Liss' look at the haunting beauty of Playgirl's Private Pleasures and the interesting Vivid version of Karma with Goldenmuse's look at Candida Royalle's Revelations providing some eye candy worthy of both men and women.
In coming weeks, we hope to coax out even more glimpses into the realm of the Playgirl Posse with a series of special articles so keep looking and we'll be sure to give you the scoop on what works for the ladies in your life. Michael and the Colonel found a couple of worthy couple's title this week too, as we suggested they would in recent editions of this column with Club's Room Service and the sinfully delicious Harlequin by Wicked Pictures. The Mooninite also pointed out how fine Amanda By Night was, showing how porn was long before the advent of video made it more about grunting and sweat than the effort to showcase beauty and talent. Make no bones about these titles, they aren't designed to get off the circus act sex crowd so much as provide fulfilling fantasies for
you to enjoy, so pick a few of them up to get your gal in the mood.
If you prefer to skip seeing men in your porn altogether though, we have a trio of fine lesbian titles too this week. Patrick Collins has been making porn for years and his skills are largely in evidence as he provided hours of entertainment with No Cocks Allowed 2 just as Cousin Stevie continued his quest to provide competitive sexual athletes a forum to express their womanly desires in Cousin Stevie's Pussy Party 14 and I doubt any man alive could truly keep up with Belladonna after watching her ravage her female friends in her latest ultra hardcore flick for Evil Angel in Fetish Fanatic 2. To sum these three up, each offered a different slice of the (hair) pie action with most of the players blowing aside the lipstick lesbians you'll find elsewhere in favor of some truly incredible pairings. Everyone's a winner in that sense with more gash for the cash available in these titles than most porn you'll find on the shelves of
your local porn emporium.
For all the porn pussy musicians have had access to over the years, it has long been time for them to give something back to the adult industry. Yeah, most of us have seen Snoop Dogg's releases by Hustler Video and there have been a number of overtures made by others that sold fairly well but it took a rocker himself to finally bridge the gap with Barrett Blade offering up Rockhard: Making the Video as he shot not only a porno but OPM's latest video at the same time. Barrett's a talented guy and his instincts are on the money (shot) but this two disc tribute to music and porn was certainly "off the hook" as was another novelty title, Lil Jon's Vivid Vegas Party by Vivid, seemed to be. Rockhard went the extra mile in how OPM provided the music and some choice cuts but following Lil Jon around the 2006 AEE Show in Las Vegas was something long overdue as well. Either way you cut it, both movies fused music and porn just a little bit more than had been done in the past so I'm hopeful that we see both companies continue to
push the envelop even further with sequels.
Okay, to close out this week's top flicks we look at another type of movie that has gained nationwide notoriety since a throaty adventure three decades ago; the blowjob movie. In terms of suck for the buck, there's no denying that Jonni Darkko's Suck It Dry 2 was the winner for clarity of concept this time but the vixens of Swallow My Pride 8 also rode the baloney pony before swallowing some mighty large loads down so depending on what you're looking to enjoy, either may suffice to assist you in your own hand to gland combat. Darkko versus Luger as directors seem almost a mismatch considering the imbalances of technical skill between the two but Jonni came (and came and came) out swinging without ever stopping while David seemed content with some variety of cast quality this
Spotlight Performer: Tera Patrick
These days, exotic looking ladies in porn are far more common than they were five years ago but whatever else can be said there is no doubting the appeal of the lovely Tera Patrick. When she first started making movies for a variety of companies, rumors of her ancestry and origins were as numerous as could be but her high cheekbones and slightly icy exterior won the hearts and crotches of many fans that remain loyal to her even now that she's a contract girl for Vivid. Interestingly enough though, her scenes have improved while at the legendary company known more for the looks of their gals then the sexual energy they display on screen. Her latest movie was the well received Desperate,
starring her and significant other Spyder Jonez as the two worked out some relationship problems in between robbing stupid Johns trying to score some pussy, only to end up victims of fake police. Previous to that one, she co-starred with the lovely Briana Banks in Collision
Course but her breakthrough role as a true force to be reckoned with sexually was easily Reign of Tera; where she ran a brothel full of the best looking Asian hotties available in the world of porn (and showed those of us, myself included, that she was far better than what we watched in Tera Tera
Tera has also wowed audiences with her work at the infamous radio station KSEX, had anal sex long before it was popular in Caribbean
Undercover, helped jumpstart the virtual sex series market with Virtual Sex with Tera Patrick, and showed the considerable marketing savvy of the folks at Digital Playground in Jack's Playground 25, Forbidden Tales, Island Fever 3, Island Fever 2, and Island Fever, as well as her early work in Adam & Eve's Fire and Ice, where she played an ice queen compared to some of her coworkers. Early reports of her releases for 2006 indicate that she'll be offering up some even better movies, expanding her boundaries to include a select group of men (although sadly for us, none of our reviewers made the cut this time). We'll keep you posted about her upcoming movies and maybe even offer a special treat involving her in the near future but this busy little hotty has proven herself to be one of the most desirable ladies in porn for some time now for good
Director Brad Armstrong has long been known for his sorted off-screen affairs but despite the green eyed ravings of his detractors, he has routinely proven to be a fine director capable of combining mainstream values along with solid sex scenes starring some of the best ladies in porn with such titles as Eternity and Hell on Heels.
His latest epic wonder seems destined to join the ranks of sought after features with showing Jessica Drake and Kaylani Lei at their finest. As the cover states: "When Samantha (Jessica Drake) reopens the tomb of Neferkala (Kaylani Lei) first discovered twenty years earlier by her father (Randy Spears), she releases a sexual animal that has survived through millennia. Far from her Egyptian resting place, Neferkala hunts for her eternal love Nomron. Joined by Samantha, the two insatiable women set forth on an erotic search to satisfy their thirst for love and lust, culminating in a most decadent excavation of the immortal heart."
Don takes a look at the latest Club Jenna contract star's virtual sex show in where the title claims: "You are holding in your hands one of the most advanced interactive sex simulators in the world. Highly advanced technology allows for the most realistic sexual encounter ever. Direct her to strip, masturbate or tease you in a variety of ways. Take her in any one of a multitude of sexual positions that will leave you both spent yet yearning for more. She is ready for you at the push of a button. Realize your most intimate fantasies with My Plaything - McKenzie Lee, but be careful what you wish for, you might get it."
One look at the cover of will tell a fan all he needs to know with regard to the kind of action he'll be enjoying with the movie. With nearly three hours of material on the DVD, and the kind of quality that we've come to appreciate in movies starring Naomi,
director John Leslie proved to be entranced with the female form once more. "Once again John Leslie brings you some of the hottest anal loving tramps. They have big bubble butts and they know how to use those booyahs to their advantage! Don't get lost in that monster ass!" While we wait for some of John's other works to arrive in our greedy little mitts, this looks to be a scorcher if you like ass with
Our newest reviewer, Mistress Liss will be checking out where it was advertised as: "Here are some great looking girls that bury themselves between each other's thighs with tongues and toys in a quest for the ultimate orgasm. Who knows how to make a woman cum better than a woman herself? Explore the hidden lesbian fantasies that lie within all women. See it for yourself, you'll remember it forever!" To be honest, most of the other reviewers have offered to watch it with her, just so long as they don't have to be
bound and gagged to do so.
Namrufmot has built up quite a following with his reviews of late as much for his ability to cut to the chase as his discerning eye. Wanting to see some new gals learning to choke down a load, he sets his sights on where the action was described as: "Watch eight fresh new girls take cum in their mouths for the first time. Hurry up and get your ass in class, oral training has just begun!" Director Tony Porno is still a newcomer himself so this Fifth Element title may just offer something special and we'll be awaiting Nam's report to see if this one
will be coming soon to our review database as Rob Randell tells us whether or not you can "Get your freak on, tappin' that ass with six of the hottest dime pieces in porn. Our six hunnies are ready to throw down and show you how it's done with a little hardcore fucking.
Make sure you don't miss Freak Nasty #2!" Fans of hot black booty will appreciate the jungle fever going on throughout the movie if the cast list is any indication of what to expect, proving up the axiom: "The darker the berry, the sweeter the
We end our look at upcoming titles with a blast from the past called . If you've been following The Mooninite's ongoing look at titles from the so-called Golden Age of Porn, you'll be aware that his level of knowledge surpasses all but a handful of experts in the field.
Advertised as: "Jimmy is a horny high school guy who spends all of his time spying on his kinky neighbors with a telescope. Worried, his aunt hires a sexy Private Teacher to help bring him out of his shell. After a few private lessons, Jimmy gets a firm grip on his own sexuality. And so do the girls next door!", this title proves that MILF action was around long before the current
Last Spring, our review team hit some hotty gold with a plethora of titles worth checking out and one of the very best was The Whore Next Door where Don told us how it "was something a lot of people probably thought they'd never see; a gal like Kylie Ireland going literally "all the way" into gonzo. She may be twice the age of the current "flavor of the month" gals joining porn but only a fool would deny her sexual stamina, ability and determination to prove her critics wrong. For what it's worth, even a jaded old reviewer like myself found each scene enough to get me wanting some relief so I had to take a break more than a few times while watching this collection of scenes (although I'm a big fan of hers, I still think anyone would objectively see her passion, heat, and chemistry here). From beginning to end, The Whore Next Door was well worth a rating of Highly Recommended for all it had to offer. Fans of Kylie's like myself will probably consider this the holy grail of porn in some ways but I still hold out hope that she continues to make porn of all kinds and that this is just one more door she's opened to further her own sexual discovery (her parties are some of the most interesting in the porn world I'm told but maybe this will allow people to see her in yet another light). Whatever the case may be, Kylie Ireland seems to be on another path these days and I'll be watching to see what else she has in store for a demanding audience. The Whore Next Door had more fuck for the buck than a dozen of her earlier movies; making me wonder if this might become a series for all to
Reviewer Michael Vega found much to appreciate with Stocking Secrets 9, telling us "Though I'm not a stocking fetishist, I can admire a sexy lady in some revealing lingerie. While I thought Justine was a cutie, I wasn't feeling her body. However, Aimee was really sexy and working her nice, thick ass in those stockings and it's a shame that she wasn't handed a dildo to give her pussy a workout. The production values on this disc are impressive and Kira did a great job directing the film.
I think this flick might appeal to soft-core stocking fetishists. In that regard, this disc gets a Recommended
Naughty College School Girls 36 was a pretty solid release, earning a rating of Recommended from me for all it had to offer in terms of an attractive, talented, cast, some great extras and sexual energy made it well worth looking into and had the kind of replay value that I like to see in a DVD. It was far from perfect with some visual issues and a few scenes not nearly as solid as the rest of the bunch but most of you will find it pleasurable to watch time and time again, especially fans of the cast. I'll have to take a look at the next couple of volumes in the series based on this one but I had written the series off long ago over some of the negative aspects and I'm glad that New Sensations retooled
it (so to speak) to make improvements.
Rob Randell told us that AssPirations
from Hot Boxxx was a winner when he said: "AssPirations is an anal focused release from director Axel Braun. What makes this different from the other anal focused release Braun directs is the rock music included in the scene intros. Rock music and sex. Anyways, if you dig rock music you might enjoy the sampler CD included with this DVD. But if you're like me, you're going to enjoy this release because of the heated sex. I was pretty pleased with this release. The first four scenes were really hot. Alone they are more than enough reason to check out this release.
Some hot babes and some great anal action. What else could you
Goldenmuse selected VIP 54 as one of her top picks in the earlier this year for good reason, telling the world that: "As an adult film fan, I've always respected the class and professionalism of Vivid releases; films that feature top talent and production values, safe sex practices, and nonviolent, plot-centered storylines. Having said that, with the exception of "Immortal Desire" and the "Rocco Loves. . ." series (the announcement of Rocco Siffredi's retirement dashed my plans for "Rocco Loves Goldenmuse;" oh, well!), I don't own a great number of Vivid films. I often wish that
2040, Flight Attendants, Sexual Blacktivity, and a great deal more...
Deviance, Teachers, Full Streams Ahead 2, Interactive Sex with Tori Black, and a great deal more...
Not Married With Children XXX, My Sexy Life #1, Breast Meat #2, Mailbag, and much, much more...
The AJ Bailey Experiment, Centerfolds Exposed, Anal Buffet #2, and so much more...
The 8th Day, Ass Worship 11, Raylene's Dirty Work, and much much more