I am a young fairly fit, averagely attractive, very kinky young man. Recently my girlfriend and I became sexually active and I am unable to make her orgasm through vaginal stimulation. She comes fairly easily when I orally pleasure her or we mutually masturbate. The problem is...although it's reasonably thick, my penis is only about six inches long.
She fantasizes about MMF three-ways and I want to meet her needs but I am embarrassed of my underwhelming size. I've heard that an emotional connection is the most important element of sex but how small is too small? Please be honest with me Savanna, is there hope that I will one day be an amazing lover or will I always be mediocre or at BEST average? - AA
First of all six inches or near six inches is nothing to be embarrassed about especially if you say it's got some thickness to it! Look let be honest with you, I've been with a man one time in my life that was just too small to give me pleasure and the fact that we both knew it certainly didn't help in the confidence department but honey that thing was the size of my pinky or his at least. Yes I am a pro if you will, and now I can adjust to pretty much any size and I don't like it too big because it hurts. Sometimes if it's smaller in size it takes me a few times to figure out what I need to do to make it work for me but I eventually figure out how I need to adjust to make it hit all the right spots.
Quite frankly your girlfriend needs to do some adjusting, not you. For example I will try squeezing my vaginal walls until they are stronger and feel tighter around the cock. I also try different positions until I find the right way to use what he has and his pelvic bone and every inch of it to bring me to orgasm. The most important thing no matter what is your confidence. If you are thinking of the size of your cock and feeling inadequate, I can guarantee you that your cock is not reaching its full potential and is not as hard as she needs it to be. My boyfriend now is average size but he is rock hard solid all the time and I have the best mind blowing sex I ever had because of it. He knows he's not huge but he is confident and knows that his hard shaft is going to make me cum every time.
I don't know how to tell you to feel more confident so that it is harder except to tell you that I love six inches! It sounds like you are a very giving lover as you will stay down on her until she orgasms orally but maybe try sticking it in her ass; that will make her cum! And I mean that in the most gentle and consenting of ways of course.
Now about the threesome, look you cant help the hand you were dealt. Excuse my French but fuck it if you're not as endowed as the other guy! Who cares! Let her get off on a bigger cock for the moment, she's going home with you and you both will have a magical experience to remember in the future. Confidence my friend; find it; embrace it and love your hard, six inch, thick, beautiful cock!
I consider myself as proficient when it comes to giving women head, but I know I can be mindblowing if given the right instruction. What's the secret to eating a woman out? - DB
The secret to giving a woman mind blowing oral sex? Hmm, the thing is I have opened myself up to the experience and stopped worrying that I'm taking too long to cum or that the guy's neck is going to get sore so I wonder if all my adult life I've had the most amazing experience but was too uptight to pay attention! Now I can relax and give into my partner completely.
First of all you want to build her up. Start with her mouth and work your way down with your tongue. Make sure you don't dive in too quickly. Lick around her clit and her lips before you actually use your mouth on her center. Explore it for a bit with your tongue before using your fingers. You may even want to gently hum while you're at it, the vibration adds something so magical! Also you don't need to make the tongue stiff, you can almost make it flat and round and close to your own lips instead of stiff long strokes. Kind of gently pull the clit in with your tongue and lips sort of like the way you suck a peach after you take the first bite. She's going to get just as juicy as that ripe peach! Then you can start to use your fingers, start with one and slide it in and up towards her navel. That little presser upward on her g spot will bring her added pleasure. And try to tune into her body, the way she responds to what you're doing. I for one am not very verbal especially when we're in the heat of it so what I do instead of speaking, which is kind of lame but like I said I'm not verbal, I shift my pelvis just slightly to make him hit the right spot. Sometimes, they get it so try to really tune. Love what you're doing and she will too.
Now for a real mind blowing orgasm, take the finger, either an additional one or the one that's in her pussy and use her juices to lube up her ass and slip that finger in gently. Don't fuck her with it, meaning don't slide it up and down, just steadily push it in, she will explode in your mouth with shear bliss!
Just read your column and I love that you're into slipping your finger into your male partner's ass. I was a lil a hesitant when it was first proposed, but when she fingered me, I came so hard I shot my load all over my face! Was wondering if you might have a video of you fingering your partner/s in the future! -Adrian
Hmmm, I don't think I do have any videos of me fingering my male partners ass. That's so hot though. I once was going to fuck Christian in the ass with a strap on but I think PT, the director, changed his mind at the last minute. In fact, I've never done that to a man! They say the man will come without even touching his cock! I fucked Belladonna in the ass with a strap on in our upcoming movie Devil in Miss Jones - The Resurrection, but that's hardly the same. One time a friend of mine showed me what her husband came home with and I immediately assumed he wanted to get kinky with a woman but instead he wanted Her to fuck Him in the ass with the strap-on! No he is not gay but lets face it the man is the one with the prostate which is like the g-spot for men so why shouldn't all men experience the ultimate orgasm? My next movie for Vivid is in November. I'll feel the guy out and then stick some fingers in his ass for camera.... For you!
What kinds of things are you currently doing in your own sex life? Are there things that you do in your bedroom that you won't do on screen? What's your favorite thing to do right now? - Kelly
Right now in my personal life I am having a lot of rough sex. I mean its loving, rough sex but it still leaves me bruised. I like it although I am beginning to flinch when he lifts his hand to touch me in anticipation of getting smacked and that isn't so good but over all it's exciting and playful. I still love the whole anal sex thing but don't do it every time I make love even though my orgasms are the best that way. Most of my fantasies come from things I've done in my movies and want to take home and do it in a way that feels good. I have not yet had a threesome with my current boyfriend but would like to do that with him and another girl. I don't think he's ready to be with me and another guy quite yet. One step at a time I suppose.
I love my wife, but she's going through a period where she's not all that interested in sex. It's killing me. I want to go blow off some of this pent up tension and just have sex with someone but I'm worried that if she finds out that it'll ruin things for us. I don't think she'd see it as 'just sex'. I've been totally faithful to my wife but it's been brutal this past few months. What should I do? - Eric
Eric, have you talked about this with her? It's very important to have an open dialog about sex to keep you strong and active. Have you found ways to maybe help her with some of the pressures she's feeling around the house and kids? I know this all sounds obvious and what I really want to say when men tell me their wives have lost their libido is to tell her this, "Well go find it! It's your wifely duty! Sorry but it is." No wife can really expect their husband to remain faithful when they aren't delivering. I really think you need to talk to her and find out why she is not interested in sex. If you discuss it maybe she can go speak to a doctor or professional who can help bring back the physical element that's missing from her like estrogen etc. She could need some hormone replacement therapy. I highly recommend Suzanne Somers book, Ageless to all women which discusses the truth about the aging process and ways to live a youthful and sexually driven life after 30.
Now I want you to check yourself. How is your breath? Are you flossing and getting all the crap out of your teeth that causes bad breath and are you using mouthwash? Sometimes woman get turned off by the smells of their husbands! I'm sorry but it's true and you guys don't even realize that you smell! I had an issue with mine and he didn't realize it and I was so turned off I divorced him practically, well I didn't want to kiss him anyway, let alone have sex with him! I'm just saying that sometimes we get comfortable in our relationships and forget to take care of our bodies and the way we look and smell.
Try a romantic get away, just the two of you. Arrange for the kids to spend the night at grandmas one night and make a romantic candlelight dinner. No matter how great the night is, you must talk to her about why she isn't feeling you these days. And if that doesn't work make sure you protect yourself and your wife when you go fuck some else and use a condom!