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When Fanbois Go Too Far



Over the past several months, I have seen fans try to get too close to girls in person at trade shows and on social media. Maybe common sense really isn’t common, or maybe they just don’t understand boundaries or what is acceptable. This blog is here to educate people and remind them that just because someone is famous and you like them, there is a line you shouldn’t cross.

Let’s Talk Social Media

You’re following your fave porn girl on Twitter. She’s maybe even liked or RTed your special Tweet to her. And, if you’re lucky, she has followed you back. She’s let you into a select group. But then you start DMing her endlessly, RTing everything she Tweets, and it’s become really obvious that you’re cyberstalking her. Instead of having a good feeling when she sees your Twitter handle, she’s starting to freak out. I can tell you how this will end up—you will get blocked and/or muted and will go completely off her radar. Definitely not the effect you were hoping for. How could this have been handled differently? Don’t DM her unless she gives you permission, and if you do, make it a one-time thing and a very short conversation. Be mindful of Tweeting at her and how many times you RT her. Same goes for likes on Instagram, comments on Snapchat, etc.

You’re at Exxxtica or AVN & So Is Your Fave Porn Star

You’ve made the holy grail and finally made it to a big trade show like Exxxotica or AVN. It’s pure magic that you’re going to meet your favorite porn star in real life. If she’s signing at a booth, make sure to wait in line to speak to her, don’t out stay your welcome, and don’t hang out in the area all day. And, don’t ask her to sign like 100+ photos without paying her. One or two is fine but more than that is taking advantage.

Make sure you’re not too much in her personal space—give her room to breathe and not feel unsafe. Also don’t keep walking by tons of times during the day. Any of these bad behaviors will end up with security being called, and you being banned from the show for one or all the days. Oh, and don’t follow her back to her room. I shouldn’t even have to tell you this.

You can offer to get her lunch, water, or a snack, or even bring her a gift. Bottom line—just don’t act crazy. Walk away and meet other porn stars. And, make sure to show your support by buying some of her merchandise.

Don’t Offer to Be Her Agent, Manager, Publicist, or Assistant

Sure, you want to be close to her. It would be your dream job to be her agent, manager, publicist, or assistant. Whether you’re offering your services for free or in exchange for something else, it’s not a good idea. If a girl wants to be close to you, she will. Sometimes, girls do date fans or have them on the road for feature dancing as roadies, but don’t look to working for her as a way in. It’s creepy and girls want professionals handling their careers.

These are just a few examples of when fanbois go too far. Put yourself in a girl’s place and ask yourself how you would feel if someone was doing this to you. Not too cool, right? If a porn girl is uncomfortable with whatever you’re doing, you should only have to be asked once to stop.

NEVER threaten, harass or stalk the girls.

Photo by Erika Icon


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